Life is a Loophole
Created for those
Lost souls in need of
A crash course in
I awoke to the sounds of life continuing to occur despite all of my attempts to set a new sleep marathon record. Twenty-two years ago, drinking ceased to be an option and my FWB pool is a little under-stocked, so sleeping was the winner by default. Allowing myself a break from the world and its blue-pill promises, I was in need of something that could and would take my focus from my thinking and bring it back into my body. Sex is great for this but alas, I am in a bit of a drought at present. The solution to this set of present circumstances is the last thing that I really want to do: get out and connect with the rest of humanity. It amazes me how just showing up is such a magic potion for the single-soul and I will procrastinate, hibernate, and isolate but eventually I will go and be among the rest of my kind. Today is a gift and I must participate in my own life. Scarcity is an illusion and the day is filled with promise. Now to get my ass up and out the door…
I woke to the promise of a beautiful day: sunny, clear, pay-day, and Friday! I got dressed in something cheerful and feminine and knowing that I looked good and felt great, I zipped out into the day. My office routine began at a pleasurable pace and I was feeling damn good about life and work when in walks the financial management team that was slated to present investment options to our staff. No big deal until they started talking about money! Yikes! My brain started a trip down Memory Lane that is the equivalent of Nightmare on Elm Street and I was completely blind-sided! I proceeded to wallow in a soup of self-pity, regret, and if-onlys….needless to say, I allowed the rest of the day to escape by battling fiercely with myself over all of the reasons that I have to be grateful: health, home, career, children, friends, sex (although, not too much going on right now), writing, running, car, etc. The issue at hand is that when I most need to find acceptance, that is when it is the most elusive. My financial disasters of the past are due to many reasons, none of which exist today but I still can carry them around like a bag of garbage, just stinking-up the whole joint until not even I can stand another minute. So in the spirit of recycling, I am donating all of my failed dreams and aspirations of the past to this blog so that I may carry-on with the current and future plans I have been putting into action.