I took a walk on the wild side by diving into a relationship.  Congratulating myself on my ability to be vulnerable and independent simultaneously, I dove in with both feet.  Subtly, imperceptibly, I began to make a movie in my head about the possibility of a happily-ever-after ending with this man.  My creative fantasies began to take over and I imagined that this man was everything that I had been missing.  Time for a reality check.  For one thing, I am not missing anything and although we laugh and have great sex, these things do not qualify as a foundation.  After living together for some time, it became evident that this man still has a lot of growing-up to do and I have already raised my children.  As delightful as some of his antics were, he was high maintenance and I no longer choose to expend my energy in that way.  I succumbed to temptation and examined this issue in order to uncover why I am still drawn to these types of relationships—superficial, physical, and temporary.  Not having come any closer to the answer, I am taking a break.  The female/male dynamic is difficult at best and I have found that the highs and lows are exhausting!  I have decided to recharge my batteries (heh heh) and crawl into my bed, solo, and let this shit settle.  As Freud once said, “Sometimes an ashtray is just an ashtray.”