I took a walk on the wild side by diving into a relationship. Congratulating myself on my ability to be vulnerable and independent simultaneously, I dove in with both feet. Subtly, imperceptibly, I began to make a movie in my head about the possibility of a happily-ever-after ending with this man. My creative fantasies began to take over and I imagined that this man was everything that I had been missing. Time for a reality check. For one thing, I am not missing anything and although we laugh and have great sex, these things do not qualify as a foundation. After living together for some time, it became evident that this man still has a lot of growing-up to do and I have already raised my children. As delightful as some of his antics were, he was high maintenance and I no longer choose to expend my energy in that way. I succumbed to temptation and examined this issue in order to uncover why I am still drawn to these types of relationships—superficial, physical, and temporary. Not having come any closer to the answer, I am taking a break. The female/male dynamic is difficult at best and I have found that the highs and lows are exhausting! I have decided to recharge my batteries (heh heh) and crawl into my bed, solo, and let this shit settle. As Freud once said, “Sometimes an ashtray is just an ashtray.”
Dysfunctional Womans Digest
"The things that you are passionate about are not random, they are your calling." -F. Fredrickson
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