What is more annoying than fingernails scraping on a chalkboard or that slick of donut oil left on your tongue?   Nothing with the exception of that certain type of edginess that is only a result of not getting laid.  Lately, I have been experiencing some irritation and edginess and although I have experienced these feelings a time or two before, in the past I have been able to promptly remedy the situation and get back on the beam.  Once in the solution, I have always been able to pick up where I left-off and carry-on for a while until those edges and urges came knocking at my door once again and I would add another chapter.  This time, however, has been different.  The reasons are many but the main one is that I have met someone that I really, really like and who seems to not only embrace my free-wheeling nature but his personality is conducive to a complimentary partnership.

All of that being said, why the edginess?  Simple, I am experiencing a time of sexual abstinence due to His traveling occupation and although I am an independent and self-contained unit with excellent problem-solving skills, I am not desirous of seeking to remedy this situation in the usual manner; in other words, I am not craving any other sexual partners to help with my attitude adjusting and I am somewhat adrift in this unfamiliar territory.  As a prospecter by nature, I seldom narrow my options so severely, however, this is different and so completely out-of-the-ordinary that it has me a bit unbalanced…and baffled.  I don’t, as a rule, back myself into such a tight or limiting corner and as unnerving as it feels, I have a sense that there is no other solution.

How this has occurred, I do not completely understand but at some juncture I experienced a connection with a “Him” that has gone far beyond the sensory realm and has left me so physically, emotionally, and spiritually satisfied that I just know that anything else will be a poor substitute.  There is a term for this state of affairs and it is called “supply and demand” and it is not usually a voluntary situation but is instead orchestrated by those who would primarily benefit by capitalizing on limited supply.  As an experienced consumer who has purposefully stepped into this particular circumstance, I am intrigued and mystified by my deliberately chosen state of lack.  I might have even tripped upon a phenomenon which runs the risk of my retracting all of my earlier romantic cynicism…? I will keep you posted on its progress…