There comes a time in every woman’s life when the prospect of her next sexual rendezvous seems to be off somewhere on the distant horizon.  Times of sexual famine are difficult to predict when a girl is out and about on her own and unless she has taken an oath of celibacy for a time, she must resort to her stash of battery-operated contrivances.  Dependent upon her state of urgency, the chosen appliance of assistance can vary and many women have their favorite stand-bys, however when time is of the essence and a girl just needs to get the most bang for her buck, she simply cannot beat this little marvel of modern battery-operated technology, also known as Mr. Bullet.

In regard to this small piece of engineering ingenuity, I have nothing but praises to sing; it is versatile, efficient, and…ooh lah lah, don’t let me dare forget to mention extremely effective…!  I came upon this little beauty quite by accident; I was interested in trying out something different, something more portable and discreet and I was led by a very knowledgeable salesperson who introduced me to my little friend (hello, Scarface!).  Having only recently discovered this resource of the “adult store” due to my previously sheltered existence, I felt as though I had found a new kind of Disneyland of pleasure and as long as the expense didn’t break my budget…why not?!

What follows is a summary of my first adventure using this shiny silver miracle of invention whom I choose to call “Mr. B.”

Upon arriving home, I made certain to wash Mr. B and install the proper batteries in the correct direction; this may seem superfluous to you but when a lady has been ignorant in regard to these things…well, let me just say that it finally came to life.  I experimented with the dial a bit to see what sounds and vibrations were possible and I discovered that Mr. B had anywhere from a minor buzzzzz…. to a setting capable of causing a nuclear explosion!  I decided to start with the minor buzz due to the fact that I didn’t even have a learner’s permit to operate the thing and I didn’t want to cause any peripheral damage.  I put in some Santana, stripped away all of my clothing and lie back on the bed with the pillows under my head so I could see what I was doing (this is important).  I put a small dab of K-Y on the perimeter of the Bullet and turned the dial.  Using the tip, I lightly massaged all around the outside lips and was I pleasantly met with a very scintillating response; my body began to relax and then tighten and my legs seemed to open and spread wide of their own accord instinctively aware of what was to come!  Slowly, I began to position the bullet to massage my inner lips around and around until I felt the straining of Her Ladyship, the Queen, begin to beg for some attention.  I have discovered that Her Ladyship can be quite fickle at times, sometimes she is like an open book willing and ready to receive whatever delights are presented, and at other times she is picky and arbitrary and is only receptive to the utmost care and lengthy attention.  This day she was quite anxious to make the acquaintance of this special visitor and wasted no time allowing Mr. B to render a full 360.0 inspection of her attributes and after insisting that he perform several additional rotations of her periphery, she succumbed to the effects of his smooth but powerful advances.  She was quite delighted, and exhausted, and it had only been a mere five minutes!