I am navigating a weird place in my life: I am happy and carefree, completely autonomous and free-spirited but…? Everything is working, I have a couple of steady FWBs that are more than I could ask for in terms of adventure, lust, and attraction, however…? I don’t know if that means that I am bored or that I am succumbing to the stereotypical desire of companionship and it’s making me nuts! I have worked very hard to be at ease with myself and to seek fulfillment from within; I love doing things solo, such as movies and dinner so what the hell is going on here? I have a solo trip planned for August in which I will be going somewhere without knowing a soul and I will be completely off-radar and I am really looking forward to this adventure in the hopes that it will indoctrinate me into the club of solo travelers, so WTF?! I don’t get it and I am really annoyed at its intrusion. One of my close friends is filing for divorce and is so excited about the prospects of singlehood that I couldn’t help but reminisce about my own early days of release from the incarceration of a bad marriage and the peace and contentment that I followed. So, what the f*ck is going on?
I really hesitated sharing this post and its whiny content, however, authenticity is very important to me so I have decided to vomit the contents of my dysfunctional thinking via the cathartic effects of this blog. Perhaps my new mantra “Sanity is overrated” has struck a deeper chord than I realized and I am feeling somewhat squirrel-y…? I had a session earlier in the week of some fine male energy and not-too-adventurous sex and it was very spontaneous and satisfying so I know that I am not just feeling empty (hee hee!) or horny. I don’t get it…if any of you WP friends have some insights that you would like to share, I would very much enjoy reading what you have to contribute.
Here’s to putting the “D” into “Dysfunction”! 🙂