I love men and everything about them: their smell, their hair (in the right places!), their sweat, their muscular hardness, their penises, their bottoms, etc.  I especially love having sex with them and I enjoy a passionate interlude with all of its incumbent frills, however, I despise Valentine’s Day and I do not see its significance in regard to romance.  I know that ‘despise’ is a very strong term but I mean it to the nth degree and this is why:

  • Valentine’s Day is another way for single people to feel like shit about being single, when in fact, I am the envy of all of my married friends.
  • Cards for this day are everywhere and even if you don’t care for the cheesy sentiments and the plethora of candy and flower crap, you cannot help but have to be unconscious not to be bombarded by its over-marketed, in-your-face advertising.
  • Children cry when Valentine’s cards are passed out at school and they are mistakenly forgotten by someone (let’s give the benefit of the doubt) and why are children being influenced to think about romance anyway?  Shouldn’t they be thinking about kid stuff?
  • The expectations of your significant other (if you have one) are seriously jacked-up and the ante is raised higher and higher; if he/she doesn’t particularly buy into the mindless hype, does this mean they have stopped caring, loving, thinking, wanting you?  Mental masturbation ensues and the next thing you know, the only thing in front of you is the disappointment of non-communicated desires (which you probably didn’t even know you had until they were not met).
  • The “holiday” is a corporate-sponsored cash cow for the fat cats who are trying their hardest to run the world by relieving consumers of their hard-earned cash while they encourage mindless obedience to social/media/marketing worship.  Seriously, think about how much money you are willing to drop on a trinket, candy, flowers, cards, restaurant meals, etc. to avoid being in the doghouse?  It is absolutely ridiculous.

Ok, I have said my peace and I am feeling much better; it was not my intention to offend anyone with my soap-box sermon, I desire only to create some constructive dissension.  I, further, want to congratulate all of the members of the free-spirited minority that do not buy (literally) into this crap and instead DO things on a regular basis to let you your loved ones’ know you care.  Piss-off you greedy corporate bastards!