A wise spiritual teacher once told me that human beings have two goals in life: first to avoid pain, and second to seek pleasure. This most basic and profound truth has manifested itself in various ways my life both constructively and destructively but never so powerfully as in the realm of the sexual encounter. Romanticizing, fantasizing, and indulging in mental foreplay can act as a catalyst to achieve its main objective: the fully engulfed and consumed organ of love and friction, pleasure and penetration, which only the object of my affections can provide. For those few hours, my life slips away with its problems, it stresses, its financial issues, its familial obligations, and I am free to lose myself in one pleasurable sensation after another as I allow the waves of ecstasy to wash over me until I am completely relaxed and entirely satiated. The experience of two bodies joined, even briefly, forms a unique and distinct bond that supersedes and transcends the monotony and loneliness of human existence and is truly a miracle salve for the solitary and independent woman.

Encounters begin long before the first physical maneuver takes place. Designed to procreate, we have instincts that propel us into the arms (and other body parts) of our fellow humans. Our gray matter, the most influential sex organ we possess, begins instantly to strategically assess the feasibility of pleasure as our eyes meet and the synapses in our brains begin to fire; in a split-second, the possibilities are analyzed and this all happens before one single word is ever spoken.  Long after the desire to reproduce has been relinquished, we still crave the connectedness that occurs during this tenuous and passionate event simply called “sex.” And there is nothing on Earth that comes close to being its equal!

Yet, there is a flip-side to this little bit of heaven: attitudes and judgements in regard to the casual encounter are varied and for women, a double-standard still exists. Being a smoker, or obscenely overweight, does not compare to the criticisms dished out to the sexually independent woman. This condemnation forces us into a certain type of secrecy, a double-lifestyle that cannot help but include the fear of discovery which can perpetuate the shame attached to one of the most beautiful and sensual experiences of our human existence. Life can be hard, people! We need sex to redeem us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It is no secret that frequency of sex prolongs life and adds to our sense of well-being. Studies have shown the benefits of this sensual nutrient and conversely, its deficiency.  The happiest marriages I have encountered have each involved an active sexual component; while the unhappiest of couples are malnourished and starved. Yes, sex is good for us and to us!

Opportunities for the sexually independent woman are not always abundant; feast or famine seems to be the rule. Lately, I have been feasting and this bit of medicinal therapy has helped me to explore my needs as a fit sexual being. I have come to the conclusion that we each need to feel connected and to experience the comfort of human touch. Women and men have a need to know that they are desirable and and wanted. In spite of the societal stigmas that abound, a healthy diet of nutritious food, sleep, exercise, and sex, work together to make for a winning combination.  Here’s to your health!