I am a cynic. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind, especially when it comes to romance. I despise chick flicks, anything mushy, or that involves cheesy romance. I used to think that there was something amiss because the majority of my female friends love these kinds of films; I detest them. There is nothing more nauseating than to have a story play out into some unrealistic fairy tale ending. Take for example the 80s hit film Pretty Woman, starring Julia Roberts; the storyline of the movie was so implausible that it bordered on the ridiculous: a street-walking hooker is picked up by a wealthy businessman(which just so happens to be the extremely good-looking Richard Gere) and in 1 week, he proceeds to fall in love with her strawberry-seed-flossing, mouth-open-wide-enough-to-swallow-a-horse, ways. The public went mad over this film and I could not believe what a bunch of idealistic idiots we women had become! For one thing, when a woman is sexing-it-up with other men for money, a man will never forget that and to equate future love, trust, and fidelity with a hooker is just ludicrous! Or mentally unstable. In other words, if it seems too good to be true…need I say more? So, it seems pretty strange to me that I have found myself looking forward to a date with someone that I actually find intriguing. I might even be willing to put aside my Don Draper-esque attitudes for an evening just to test the validity of my long held beliefs. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in love and commitment but I do not believe that the all-encompassing, you-are-my-everything love is based in reality. It’s just too tall of an order. Arnold Schwarzenegger couldn’t even carry that weight!
There is one more detail about my date that is worthy of mention: this man is the best friend of a man with which I have been having a very secret affair; I am almost hysterical with laughter over the irony of it all! The circumstances of this situation are purely coincidental and I have been slowly coming to terms with my “romanticynicism” and how it has helped to create the compartmentalization that is so prevalent in my romantic affairs. The affair, I thought, would help me to insulate against the alone-ness that I sometimes feel as a single woman. I have prided myself on being a mostly self-contained unit and wanting a man in my life (as opposed to needing a man in my life) has secured a certain kind of independence of which I am pleased. Keeping everyone in their places while having a place for everyone, has created for me a sense of peace and order in a hectic and sometimes chaotic life. So, it is not surprising that this new component strikes a little fear in the heart of my semi-ordered existence. But truthfully, what does it matter? What are the chances that this man (as intriguing as he seems to be) is not just another Mr. Right-Now? Here I go, getting all analytical over a scene that has not yet played out and anticipating the drama of a performance that has not even been to dress rehearsal! The truth is that this date will probably be the beginning of yet another friendship and the chance to once again confirm the knowledge that I am right where I am supposed to be and I am still the author of the play.